


10 Wonderful Ways to Embarrass Your Children: A Guide by Regis Lucis Caelum and Ardyn Leonis

by TheDarkestDandelion



Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [80]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn Izunia Being An Asshole, Being Purposely Annoying, Embarrassment, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fun, Good Parent Regis Lucis Caelum, Hugs, Humor, Love, M/M, Multi, Noctis Lucis Caelum is a Brat, Parent Ardyn Izunia, Parent Clarus Amicitia, Parent Cor Leonis, Poor Gladiolus Amicitia, Poor Iris Amicitia, Poor Noctis Lucis Caelum, Poor Prompto Argentum, Prompto Argentum Is a Sweetheart, References to eating disorders, Revenge, Social Media, The Talk, game, laughing, planning, shouting, singing in public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21756193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestDandelion/pseuds/TheDarkestDandelion
Summary: Regis embarrasses Noctis by using social media. Because Regis and Ardyn find Noctis's embarrassment hilarious they come but with a game with the sole purpose of humiliating their children.Cause their not evil at all XD
Relationships: Ardyn Izunia & Regis Lucis Caelum, Ardyn Izunia/Cor Leonis, Clarus Amicitia & Gladiolus Amicitia & Iris Amicitia, Noctis Lucis Caelum & Regis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum & Ardyn Izunia & Cor Leonis
Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [80]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310333
Comments: 32
Kudos: 57





	1. The Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SimpleLoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleLoon/gifts).



> ooooo this is gonna be such a fun fic to write. 
> 
> Thank you to AnnaTheLoon for coming up with the idea. 
> 
> Now, everyone sit back and please enjoy :)

Regis enjoyed sitting with Ardyn having a cup of tea while they mindlessly chatted about anything. 

The King missed the days when he was small and would wander off to his uncle’s quarters because he was bored or because Mors had upset him in some way. Ardyn would always cheer him up. His uncle would make him a cup of tea and tell him tales of the Kings of Old and what it used to be like living in Ancient Lucis. Regis was happy to admit he would sit here and listen to his uncle’s stories even now. They were quite interesting, some of the things Ardyn said might have been made up, but it was a good way to unwind after such a long and exhausting day. 

As Regis reached for his cup, Noctis came bursting through the door shouting his head off. For some reason, it was directed at his dad and not Ardyn. 

“Dad! What the hell!” 

“Noctis? Are you okay?” Regis asked in a worried tone, not really caring for the tone his son was using against him.

“No! When did you get facebook!?”

Regis cocked his head to the side and he couldn’t fathom why Noctis would be so angry about that. In an innocent tone, he pointed towards their uncle, who was sniggering at the Prince’s rage “When Ardyn made me an account the other week.” 

“ARDYN!” Noctis screamed now putting all his firey anger towards him. 

“Can’t you’re father enjoy the luxury that is social media?” Ardyn asked with a smug smirk as he sipped at his tea.

“Not if he keeps liking all my posts he can’t!” 

Noctis did not find this at all funny. Why did his dad have fucking social media? He was liking all his posts and it was so fucking embarrassing. Everyone could see that his dad had done that. The 15-year-old Prince knew it was a bad idea to allow Ignis to manage his account. His advisor was in charge of accepting all his friend’s requests and now had stupidly accepted his dad’s request. Noctis understood that there had to be safety measures put in place so he didn’t end up getting stalked by assassins or weirdo’s, but his DAD! It was just… he couldn’t stand the fact that Regis knew what he was doing in his free time. Noctis wanted at least to have the illusion of a private life if nothing else. Now, he couldn’t have even that.

The Prince’s embarrassment and anger spiked as Ardyn continued to laugh at him. Noctis breathed heavily through his nose and sneered at his uncle. “It’s not funny.” 

“On the contrary my dear Noct, I think it is hilarious.” 

“NO! It isn’t! Dad, please stop liking all my posts!” Noctis growled, placing his anger back on to his dad. 

“Why? I just want to show the world how much I love my little Night Light” Regis teased, reaching a hand out so Noctis would give him a hug. 

Noctis didn’t like being called that. Well, he did sometimes but not in front of people and not when he was mad. He went a slight shade of pink and didn’t accept his dads request. 

“Dad stop it! Why are you so embarrassing!?” 

“Embarrassing?” Regis asked unsure as to why Noctis felt like that. 

“Yeah! Just do me a favour and get off facebook!” 

“Don’t worry Regis, you could always try snap chat.” Ardyn laugh harder. He had to put his mug down at how funny this was. 

“Don’t you dare start or we can do our final clash right here right now!” Noct shouted in a rage, mortified by Ardyn’s suggestion. 

Ardyn lent back in his chair and said in a flat tone. “Ooooo, someone is a little bratty today.”

So what if he was? That wasn’t Ardyn’s place to say that. Noctis outranked Ardyn the moment he was born, and the only people who had authority to tell him off was his dad and grandad.(His grandad only had that power until he became King) Just as he was about to put his foot in it and scream that at Ardyn, Regis grabbed hold of Noctis’s hand and gently pulled his son away from their uncle. 

“Don’t be rude to our uncle.” Regis ordered in a stern voice. He was not having Noct being rude for no reason. 

“Please, just get off of social media! For me!” Noctis pleaded, shaking his hand, freeing himself from his dad’s grip. 

Not wanting to fight anymore Regis nodded. “Okay, I will.” 

“Thank you!” 

Noctis stomped out of the room than, hoping that was the end of that. 

Ardyn was not pleased by either of his nephews’ behaviour. Noctis had become far too bratty as the years went on and Regis was taking it like a doormat. Ardyn did understand it for a few reasons. One because of the fate Bahamut had decided to bestow on Noctis but the main one was because Regis simply loved Noctis. the King loved Noctis just as much as Ardyn loved Prompto but there had to be a line drawn somewhere. 

Maybe Reggie just needed help establishing that line.

Ardyn picked his mug back up and rubbed his fingers along the brim. “You let him get away with far too much.” 

“No, I don’t.” Regis protested in a grump, knowing Ardyn was right. 

He did spoil Noctis a little bit...

“Really? Gods Reggie. Anyway, I have just thought up a game.” 

“This can’t be good.” 

“Fun though.” 

Regis shook his head and lent forward already able to guess what his crafty if a little psychotic uncle had in mind. “I take it, it involves us embarrassing our wonderful children?” 

“Would you look at that? We are related, after all.” Ardyn laughed also leaning forward to further explain his little game. “Let’s see who can embarrass our children the most in one week. And Whoever can achieve that… oh, I don’t know… Gets to be King for a day!” 

Regis rolled his eyes. “I am already King. Not going to work.” 

“Fine. If I win I get to be King for a day, and if you win you can ask me to use my powers for whatever you require for one day.” 

Regis smiled and shook Ardyn’s hand quickly. “Deal. But you are going to have to catch up because I am not deleting my Facebook account.” 

“Ooo, I love this evil side to you!” Ardyn laughed, even though he was already at a disadvantage. 

He could change that all too easily.

* * *

Ardyn raced home to find Prompto so he could embarrass him to catch up with Regis, but as soon as he stepped through the door Cor asked him to go back out and get the food shop for the week. Cor would have gone but he had just gotten back from work and had a shit ton of paper to go through. Also, Ardyn was meant to go this morning but apparently had forgotten to do so. Just as Ardyn was about to leave, Prompto came running down the stairs asking if he could join Ardyn. He would have stayed with Cor to keep him company but he knew Cor needed the quiet so he could get work done faster. Ardyn let go a small devilish smirk and happily accepted his Sunbeam’s plea. This was going to be so much fun. 

Ardyn whistled as he walked around the supermarket with Prompto pushing the trolly for him. But the whistling was not annoying his son. Ardyn had been trying really hard to make a believable accidental scene to wind Prom up but it wasn’t working. His son actually joined in on the whistling, so Ardyn had to come up with a new plan.

“Pizza?” Ardyn asked, picking the food up from the frozen section. 

“Nah. It’s okay.” Prompto shrugged, pulling his baggy jumper down with one of his hands.

“You love pizza! Why don’t you want it?” 

“Because I eat it all the time. Kinda boring.” 

Ardyn lowered the frozen meal down and raised an eyebrow at Prom. “All the time? Do you mean at school? Because I haven’t cooked pizza in ages.” 

“Yes dad, at school.” Prom nodded with a smile on his face. 

“Okay then. I’ll get one anyway, in case you change your mind.” Ardyn shrugged putting the food in the trolly. 

Prompto nodded and just hoped that Ardyn didn’t ask him about food again. Prom hadn’t actually eaten lunch in about a week now. But his dads didn’t need to know that. In his opinion, no one needed to know. No one had really noticed that he was purposely skipping meals other than Noctis ut that was because he wasn't eating at school. Prom found a way to get around that and stopped Noct from worrying. Prom claimed that he had a big breakfast and was going to have an equally big dinner when he got home, but neither of those things were true. He always ate dinner with Ardyn and Cor and breakfast sometimes he could miss it. However, that was becoming difficult for him to miss because Prom went for a run with Cor most mornings. Prom didn't want to worry his dad by not eating breakfast with him. Yes, Prom was a little hungry but he couldn’t eat. No, he wasn’t allowed to have lunch. That was what he kept telling himself anyway. 

Prom than starting thinking about Niflheim and the fact he was Verstael's clone and that everyone around him secretly hated him. Those thoughts made him become anxious with the idea of having dinner once they returned home. Not eating was Prom's way of maintaining control of himself. He couldn’t control where he was born, nor the bullies that criticised him for his birth but he could control his weight and the food he ate. In some ways, it helped him stop think about everything. Sometimes it didn't. Before he went down a dark pit of sorrow and self-hatred he heard his dad singing. 

“I like to ride my Chocobo all day. Do do do doo do! Do do do doo do!” 

“Dad… why are you singing?” Prompto asked, with his anxiety spiking even more as he looked up and down the aisle. 

“Because it is a fantastic tune. ‘I like to ride my Chocobo all day.” Ardyn sang it again getting louder seeing that Prompto was feeling a little uncomfortable with this. 

Perfect. 

Ardyn knew he was embarrassing Prom.

“Dad people are looking.” Prom whine, trying not to have eye contact with anyone that was looking their way. 

“Let them, my dear boy!” 

“Please be quiet.” Prom pleaded, covering his face that was turning red with embarrassment. 

Ardyn gently patted Prom on the back and laughed. “Why? You love this song! Sing it with me: ‘I like to ride my Chocobo all day.” 

“Please stop! This is so awkward.” Prom begged, not sure whether to walk on ahead and pretended he had nothing to do with his dad. That wouldn’t work. Ardyn would only follow him and everyone knew he was his son. But Ardyn needed to stop. Sweat was pouring down his heated face and he had to leave. Prompto got his phone out thinking that there was only one person who would get his father to stop. “That’s it I am calling dad if you don’t stop it now.” 

It had the opposite effect. Ardyn’s singing only got louder. “We could always change the song if you want? How about: Woahhooo my se-!”

“NO!” 

Prompto screamed, teleporting home as fast as he could. He ran straight to Cor and told him how embarrassing Ardyn had been. 

When Ardyn got home, Cor told him to stop being a prick and that he was washing up as punishment tonight. Ardyn simply shrugged. Washing up was so worth the punishment for being on par with Reggie in their game. Ardyn wanted to win a chance to sit on that throne.

* * *

_ Ardyn _ _ : Ha! Prompto was so embarrassed he hasn’t spoken to me since I got home. _

Regis: Noctis told grandfather I embarrassed him, and Somnus told me off 😢

Apparently, my behaviour is not befitting of a King. 

_ Ardyn _ _ : 😂😂😂 _

Regis: Not funny.

_ Ardyn _ _ : You could listen to Somnus…. But if you do Reggie, I win! _

Regis : Bring it on Uncle! What does my name mean: That’s right, King. Meaning I am the King of everything including this game.

_ Ardyn _ _ : My name means Brilliant. Meaning I am brilliant at everything! _

_ Regis stop texting Ardyn I am trying to fucking sleep 😡 _

Regis : Sorry Cor... Night night.

But the game had only just begun....


	2. The Wind Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be updated yesterday but I was just so sleepy and had a very early night. That is what traveling for holidays does to you I guess XD
> 
> Anyway, here you and I hope you enjoy the embarrassment. :)

Today wasn’t Friday. 

Yet, somehow and for whatever reason, Noctis was having dinner with his father. At first, Noct was rather skeptical as to why this was, as this never happened. They only ever ate together on a Friday now. Regis’s health was temperamental, to say the least, and with this war raging on… it just seemed off. Noctis understood that Regis was busy and he was grateful that he even had Fridays to spend with his only parent and any time extra was a god gifted bonus. Therefore, Noctis ignored his instincts and jumped at the chance to spend more time with his dad. Because his grandad was shutting himself off from the rest of the world at the moment it meant it would just be the two of them eating today. 

Just Noctis and his dad.

There would be no titles used. No King, no Prince. Just father and son. 

That was how Noct loved it. 

What made Noctis even happier was the fact that they were eating his favorite foods but more importantly, his dad looked very happy. In turn that made Noct smile. He loved seeing his dad smile. Regis had such a warm, welcoming and approachable aura about him and when he smiled it made Noct feel incredibly safe and loved. Protected, loved and happy. As the evening went on father and son laughed, smiled and chatted about anything and everything that would make the other smile. Because of this, Noctis felt a little bad about shouting at his dad yesterday about the whole ‘GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA’ business. But Regis didn’t look upset or offended, so maybe he was okay… Noct would apologise later for it. 

To Noctis, this was one of the best evenings he had had in a long time. That was until pudding came out anyway.

“Noct, I need to have a word with you, son.”

Noctis looked up from his pudding and was a little worried by his dad change of tone. Regis sounded very serious. Noctis swallowed what dessert remained in his mouth.

“Yeah, dad? Is everything okay?” Noct asked, hoping that it wasn’t something along the lines of ‘the crystal is killing me faster than expected and this is the reason we are having this dinner. Noct held his breath then. That better not be the fucking case. The Prince didn’t allow himself to get too worried and caught up in that mindset though. After all, there could be 1000 and 1 reasons why they were having this dinner today. There was no need for him to get panicky. 

Yet…

“Yes, Noct. Everything is fine. I promise. You mustn’t look so worried.” Regis smiled. 

“Okay… are you gonna tell me what you want to talk about than?” That was something at least. 

Regis nodded and scooped up his ice cream. “If you are going to have sex please use a condom, I don’t really want to become a grandad at the age of 45.” 

Noctis’s eyes went as wide as an owl’s and he dropped his spoon on the table in disgust and shock. 

What the fuck did his dad just say to him!?

“Actually, we never have discussed your sexual orientation before, I might not even have to worry about little unexpected happy events occurring. Are you straight?” Regis asked, finally taking a bite of his pudding. 

Noctis just stared back at his dad, wanting to dig himself a hole, jump in it and then wait for someone to come along and bury him alive. He just couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. 

Regis at this point in time was finding it so hard to keep a straight face as he swallowed his food. His baby boy’s cheeks were turning pink, his eyes were as big as saucers and Noct’s jaw was hanging open, probably with disgust. It was brilliant. There was no way Ardyn was going to be able to top this level of embarrassment Regis was currently inflicting upon his son. Not a chance in all of Eos was that ever going to happen. 

Because Noct hadn’t answered, the King repeated his question: “It doesn’t matter to me if you are gay. I love you no matter what. However, having an heir might be an issue. Although… IVF and surrogacy are options now. There you go, it takes no odds to me whatsoever.” 

Noctis blinked and choked out the words that were coming to mind. “What the fuck!”

“I am just being a concerned loving father, wanting to make sure that his son wears protection when he is having sex, is that a crime?” 

Noctis hid his face in his hands and groaned. “Dad. Stop!” 

“I would but you haven’t answered either of my questions yet.” Regis hid his snort through a fake gasp as he raised his hand to his mouth. “Or is there an unexpected happy event that I am not aware of!” 

“No! No! There’s not!” Noct practically shouted, praying to every one of the six that his dad would just shut up. Or they could talk about something else anything else.

“I won’t know if you don’t tell me.” 

“There’s not. Please stop talking!” Noctis begged. 

“I am only saying this because your mother and I had a few accidents when we were your age and I don’t want you to have a scare that’s all.” 

“DAD! I don’t want to know about that!” 

“I wouldn’t be a very caring father if I didn’t ask you or try to give you advice.” 

“For the love of the Six! I am not having sex! I have never had sex before! You are not becoming a grandad anytime soon! And I am straight! Please stop talking about this subject!” Noctis shouted, not really caring if anyone heard. His dad just needed to stop talking. This was so fucking embarrassing! Noct knew he was right to be suspicious about this dinner in the first place. Why was his dad so fucking weird?! 

“Alright, Noct. I am sorry for upsetting you.” Regis said masking his amusement with an apologetic tone. 

Damn! He should have recorded Noct’s reaction, this was far too funny.

“It’s fine. Can we just eat? In silence.” 

“Of course.” Regis smiled, but the King was far from done. “So… there is not anyone that takes your fancy?”

“That’s it!” Noctis pushed his food in front of him, stood up and ran out of the room. 

He was done. Completely done. 

Noctis didn’t even leave the room before Regis’s laughter filled the room. That was pure gold. Now he was winning his and Ardyn’s game because of it. 

* * *

“Well played Reggie. Well played.” 

Ardyn smirked to himself as he read the text that Regis had sent him revealing the torture that he had just put Noctis through. Thankfully, Ardyn hadn’t wanted to use ‘the talk’ on Prompto. Prom was far too pure and would probably just go along with whatever Ardyn asked him. His Sunbeam wouldn’t get too embarrassed with that chat anyway. Also, Cor had already taken care of that side of things. Meaning that Ardyn had to think of something bigger and better than that! Something that would make Prom turn as red as a tomato with utter embarrassment. Something that would make his son not want to look at him in the eye for a few days.

Okay… maybe that was taking things a little too far but Ardyn wanted to win! He was not losing to Regis. No matter what happened, Ardyn was sitting on that goddamn throne for a day and that was the end of that. No one was taking his victory away from him and Regis was just going to have to lump it. 

It was just hard to think of ideas though…

_ Bingo! _

* * *

“Dad! We’re back!” Prompto called out as he helped Cor bring in a few things in from the car. 

Because of what happened yesterday, Prom didn’t really want to go through that level of anxiety again and opted to join Cor as he went back to the Citadel. Cor was more than happy to have Prom keeping him company as he had to race back into work and pick up a few files, weapons and reports that the Marshal had forgotten to pick up this afternoon. The pair really enjoyed themselves. Sometimes it was nice just spending a bit of time together, even if it was for an hour or two. Cor did offer as a treat, that he take Prom out for dessert on the way back to which his son politely declined. Instead, Cor took Prom down to the guard training hall so Prom could get some extra shooting practice in and Cor was so proud of his son. Prom had come along way and was getting really good at long range shooting. However, Prompto was not allowed to join either the guard or glaive until he had finished school. Practicing and training was fine as long as it didn’t have an impact on his studies. Prom couldn’t really argue with his dad on that one. His dads were only looking out for him after all.

“In the living room, My Sunbeam!” 

Prompto smiled as he carried one of Cor’s swords into the living room without a care in the world. But as soon as he stepped foot into the living room, he deeply regretted it. 

“Hey, dad! Dad is just getting more stuff from the ca- What the hell are you wearing!?” Prompto shrieked, nearly dropping his father’s sword on his toes as he looked down at the floor in horror.

“Oh, this? Just a gift your father gave me last Valentine’s day.” Ardyn smiled, sitting lazily on the sofa in his silk cherry blossom dressing gown, that he wasn’t meant to wear anywhere that wasn’t the bedroom. It was a little short but it covered everything and it was worth parading around the living room to see a disturbed and scared look run across Prom’s face. Ardyn didn’t even bat an eyelid as he carried on the conversation. “Anyway, you two were gone a while, did you do anything nice?” 

Prom covered his face and he wished he had helped Cor with the rest of the stuff now “Why are you wearing that in the living room?!” 

“Because I only get to wear it when it’s a special occasion and I am rather fond of it.” 

“Please go upstairs and put something else on!” Prompto cried into his hands debating whether to just run upstairs and let Cor deal with Ardyn. 

“This is my house too you know.” 

“I don’t care!” 

“There is nothing wrong with it.” 

“ARE YOU JOKING?!” Prompto shouted at his dad, and because he shouted he knew Cor would be in literally seconds to make sure he was alright. 

Prompto wasn’t wrong either. 

“Prom! Ardyn! What’s wrong?!”

Prom turned his head shielding his eyes from his smirking dad to face his concerned dad. Prompto was as red as a tomato and pleaded with Cor to sort Ardyn out. “Tell him to go upstairs!” 

“What? Why?” Cor asked looking at Ardyn.

“Hello, My Marshal.” Ardyn sang winking at his husband. 

“Hey.” Cor responded a little lost for words at the sight before him. _Nope._ Cor shook his head and turned back to Prom. “Ignore him Prom he is being a dick on purpose.” 

“Tell him to go upstairs and get changed!” Prompto begged, wanting his dad to stop this embarrassing situation.

“Yeah, sorry. Ardyn, go upstairs.” 

Ardyn got up off the sofa and walked slowly through the room to wind up Prom further. Before he left the room he whispered in Cor’s ear. “Not get dressed, though?” 

“Go upstairs.” Cor repeated, staring Ardyn in the eye. 

Ardyn just laughed at his husband’s lack of response and ruffled Prom’s hair. As he walked up the stairs he heard Prompto complaining to Cor that was not on at all. That maybe they should set new rules as to what was and what wasn’t appropriate in communal areas again. All the while Ardyn laughed at his victory as he waited for Cor to come upstairs to give him a ‘servere telling off’ for his actions. Ardyn didn’t have to wait long for that. He heard Prompto storming up to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him. Then he heard the front door shut and Cor ascending the stairs before joining him in their room.

“You did tell me not to get dressed, right?” Ardyn smirked as he lay on their bed. 

Cor stared at him blankly taking his shirt off. “You better not take it off for the rest of the night either.” 

Yep, this was definitely an excellent game to play. 


	3. Then Two Became Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it is time for Clarus to join in on the game XD
> 
> Please enjoy :)

Clarus rolled his eyes as he heard Regis and Ardyn giggling from behind the door. They had been whispering and passing notes to each other for a few days now and Clarus was very curious to find out what they were up to. At first, he thought it was to do with the council and the pair were playing tricks on them. That put the Sheild in a bad mood because that was his and Regis’s thing. However, Clarus wasn’t mad for too long because as luck would have it, Regis had accidentally placed a piece a paper into the reports the Sheild had to go through and he discovered what had been going on. 

Clarus didn’t even bother knocking, he opened the door and interpreted their conversation. “What have you two been playing at?” 

“Hello Lord Amicitia!” Ardyn sang with delight, as Clarus closed the door. 

Regis waved at his Shield with a happy smile on his face, however, he was a little lost as to what he was referring to. “Hello, Clarus. Playing? Are we playing anything?” 

“Ummm….” Ardyn hummed looking down at the floor at Regis’s stupidity. 

“Regis I know you are. You left this in one of my reports.” Clarus sighed handing the report to the King. The Sheild crossed his arms and stated very bluntly as Regis read what was on the paper. “You two do realise this is plain cruel right.” 

“Certainly we do! But something tells me you would like to join in on the cruelness that is embarrassing our wonderful darling children?” Ardyn gave him a knowing smirk. 

For the daemon royal had known the Sheild since before the man was born. He knew both Clarus and Regis very well and there was no doubt in his mind that Clarus wanted to join in. Regis sensed this about his Shield too and smiled at him, eagerly waiting for Clarus’s answer. 

Clarus clicked his tongue and casually replied. “I am not apposed to it.”

“Yes!” 

“Just more competition for the throne than Ardyn.” Regis laughed. 

Clarus shook his head. Regis didn’t honestly mean that, did he? And by the look of annoyance on Ardyn’s face, and the serious one on Regis’s, Clarus knew the King was speaking the truth. 

“Somnus is going to kill you.” Clarus warned, deciding he didn’t want to be apart of the competition, just the game. He was not dealing with a pissed off Somnus at the moment. 

“It’s only one day. Let’s face it, he is too upset to do anything right now.” 

“Let’s not mention my brother’s mental state please.” Ardyn said lowly, debating whether he should go and visit Somnus or not today. The poor man was still isolating himself. Perhaps Ardyn should bring Somnus wine, give him a hug and play a game of chess. That might cheer him up. 

Regis nodded and apologised for his words. “Sorry, I know Ardyn that wasn’t a kind thing of me to say. I do love Grandfather. Anyway, Clarus let me tell you the rules and what we have done so far…”

* * *

“Well, my boy your grades are amazing.” 

Ardyn smiled, congratulating Prompto as they walked out of school. Ardyn loved the fact it was his turn to attend parents evening this term. He always loved hearing about what the teachers thought of his son and how well his little sunbeam was doing. This time there was no exception. Prompto was still as sharp as ever and Ardyn could not have been a prouder parent listening to all the teachers express their fondness for his child. At least he and Cor had done something right in Prom’s upbringing. 

“I do study hard.” Prom nodded modestly, trying not to turn pink. 

Ardyn ruffled Prom’s hair “I know you do. Your father will be most impressed. We always are so impressed with you.”

Just before Prom and Ardyn could properly take their leave a voice called after them. 

“Your Grace, sorry can I have a word, please?” 

Ardyn turned around and saw a middle-aged man running after him. He had a badge on so Ardyn assumed it was one of the teachers. “Of course, and who might you be?” 

“Jason Edwards, I am Prompto’s P.E. teacher.” Mr. Edwards smiled warmly shaking Ardyn’s hand. 

“I am sorry I must have missed you out. I thought we had seen everyone.” Ardyn nodded a little confused as to why Prom had not led him to this teacher. 

Edwards cleared his throat. “That’s the thing, Prompto hasn’t been turning up to my lessons.” 

Ardyn blinked and turned to where Prompto was standing so he would explain himself but when he turned, his son wasn’t there. That made Ardyn’s anger spike and he looked to see Prompto talking to another student and their parent and he was a good 20 ft away from Ardyn and Mr Edwards. 

“Prompto? Prom? Prompto Leonis! Come here now!” Ardyn shouted, not caring if he was embarrassing Prom or not. (Ardyn wasn’t thinking about the game with Regis or Clarus at all either) He was very angry and a little disappointed if he was honest. He was not having Prom skipping lessons. 

“It’s alright Your Grace, there is…” Edwards stated but was cut off by Ardyn shouting again. 

“PROMPTO!” 

Prom turned pink and gulped away the anxiety, embarrassment, and guilt he was feeling. He said goodbye to his friend and sheepishly walked over to his dad and P.E. teacher. “Yeah, dad…” 

“Do not make me shout at you in public again young man do you understand me?!” 

“Yes, dad.” 

“Now, why haven’t you been attending classes?” 

Because Prompto did not want to get changed in front of anyone. He didn’t want people looking at his body. He didn’t want the other kids to know that he wasn’t eating and that he was getting slimmer by the day. Prompto wasn’t stupid. He knew that people would talk and Noct would get worried. So, Prom decided just not to attend. That way no one would notice and he would be okay. 

Prom shrugged not looking at either his dad or teacher. “It’s only PE.” 

Ardyn did not like that answer. In a stern voice, he stated: “Yes, and you have told both myself and your father numerous of times you want to join either the Guard or Glaive. Physical Education is very important for doing just that.” 

“I know… But I go running in the mornings with dad, and the rest of my time I study.” Prom said honestly, still refusing to look up. This was so awkward getting told off by his dad in front of his teacher and anyone that could walk by. 

“Prompto, I only want to help you remain fit and healthy. That is the reason why we have this lesson in place.” Edwards explained, trying to reason with Prom. He understood the need to study but at the same time, he knew of Prom’s dream. Prom was not helping himself by not turning up to classes. 

“I know… Sorry, Sir.”

“So am I. Not to worry Mr. Edwards, he will be attending lessons from now on. Won’t you?” Ardyn held back a growl. He was not impressed at all by this news. 

“Yes, dad.” 

“Glad to hear it. Take care both of you.” Mr. Edwards said his goodbyes and then went back into the school to finish off the evening with the other students and teachers.

Ardyn and Prom walked back to Ardyn’s car in silence and Prompto felt so guilty and embarrassed that his dad had found out. He just hoped that Ardyn did not tell Cor, but of course, that hope was false. As they drove through Insomnia Prom’s eyes remained to the floor and he asked, already knowing the answer:

“Am I in trouble?” 

“Do you think you should be?” Ardyn replied sharply. 

“Yeah?” 

“Than yes you are.” 

Ardyn didn’t even want to take credit for embarrassing Prom tonight. He was very unimpressed with Prom’s behaviour and the fact he had purposely avoided his P.E. teacher so Ardyn wouldn’t find out… he didn’t think Prom would ever do that. Huh? It made Ardyn think, how well did he truly know his own son?

* * *

“Kid sit down!” Gladio ordered as the pair sat at the table waiting for Clarus to arrive. 

“Fine! I am just excited!” Iris whined, doing what her 18-year-old brother had asked of her. 

“Yeah, I can tell. It’s not every day we go out for a meal with dad.” 

It was a surprise to both Gladio and Iris. When they both got back from work and school, Jared informed them that Clarus had booked a table at a restaurant and the three of them were going to have some quality time together. Both Amicitia children were thrilled with the news and got there half an hour earlier than when they were supposed to. They were just so excited to be spending time with their dad. Not the odd hour in the day where they were all too tired to do anything. This was going to be a couple of hours just the three of them. However, Clarus was running 10 minutes late and Iris was getting a little unsettled. She didn’t know if that meant Clarus was just late, stuck in traffic, if there had been an attack on the King’s life or worst of all her dad was dead. It was hard being born into the Amicitia family but she didn’t resent it. Neither did Gladio. But it always kept the pair on their toes.

Iris’s eyes suddenly lite up. “Daddy!” 

“Hello, sweetheart. Sorry I am late, you two. I did try to get here on time.” Clarus explained, kissing Iris on the head before taking his seat at the table. 

“It’s fine dad don’t worry.” Gladio assured him. 

“Yeah! Let’s order food.” Iris smiled, picking up the menu very excited to get this evening going. 

“Okay, settle down monkey.” Clarus laughed, mirroring his daughter’s actions. 

The family ordered food, and Clarus got to hear all about Iris’s latest drama’s at school and she kept hinting at the fact she wanted a kitten for Christmas. With Gladio, Clarus got to hear all about this new girl he had been seeing, but Clarus wasn’t allowed to meet her yet. Which was a shame because the Sheild could use that meeting to properly embarrass his son. Instead. This dinner would have to do. Clarus had already spoken to the Chief of the restaurant and his plan was already in motion. When Clarus got his steak was when he finally started the game.

Clarus pretended to be annoyed and got the waitress’s attention. “Sorry ma’am, this wasn’t what I ordered. I wanted it rare.” 

“Dad, it’s okay.” Gladio said, a little surprised that his dad would be so annoyed by that. 

“No. Sorry, I wanted this rare and it is medium-rare. Take it back please.” Clarus huffed. 

Gladio and Iris gave each other a very uncomfortable look. They didn’t know if they should save the poor waitress. It wasn’t her fault that their dad’s food wasn’t cooked right and Clarus seemed really pissed off. Gladio tried his best to look anywhere that wasn’t a person as his dad continued to complain and Iris buried her face in her hands. This was so awkwardly annoying. 

“Sorry, sir. I will get you a new one.” the waitress said flustered taking the food away. (She was in on Clarus’s little show too)

“Thank you.” Clarus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, purposely winding up Gladio and Iris further. 

Once the waitress was out of hearing range Gladio gritted his teeth and whispered harshly at his dad. “Oh my Gods, what the hell! It wasn’t her fault!”

“It’s not what I ordered.” Clarus said plainly. 

“That was pathetic. It’s a piece of meat.” Gladio argued back. 

“Dad, that was a little mean.” Iris said with the same level of annoyance and discomfort her brother had displayed. 

“Should have cooked it right the first time then shouldn’t they?” Clarus replied.

This was fun embarrassing his children. However, because Clarus didn’t want to cause anymore more tension, he apologised to the waitress and made sure to leave a good tip as the Chief and waitress had secretly helped him in this game. That gesture also ensured that neither Gladio or Iris were made at him, that was a big relief. 

* * *

Noctis bit at the lid of his pen, thinking hard about this stupid literacy essay he had been set. Ignis had gone to his parent’s evening tonight while his dad was sitting across the room from him filling out reports and ready to grab his phone when Ignis called. Noctis was very grateful that Regis couldn’t simply walk into his school without getting noticed. It meant the Prince didn’t have to be subjective to all the criticism he would surely get from his teacher for falling asleep in class while his dad was sitting there. Talking of sleep, a nap sounded perfect right about now.

“Homework troubling you son?” Regis’s voice pulled Noct away from his thoughts. 

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Noct replied, tapping the pen against his forehead. 

Regis smiled, standing up to walk over to Noctis to see if he could be of any help. “I do have somewhat of an education you know?” 

“And half of it is messed up because Ardyn and grandad decided they would tell you the ‘proper’ version of things.” 

“True.” Regis laughed. Their ancestors were so annoying sometimes. Than an idea sprung to mind. Regis went on his phone and opened YouTube up. “You know what always helped me settle down? Some music.” 

“No, dad it’s okay, I’ve got my phone.” Noctis smiled, ready to put his headphones in. But as soon as Noctis showed his dad the phone, Regis swiped it out of his hand. “HEY!” 

Regis shook his head and put Noct’s phone next to him. “Finish your homework first, then you can have it back. While you are doing that I am going to put on some music.” 

“Arggh fine!” Noct complained for half a second before going back to work. If he was honest, his phone was a big distraction anyway.

All of a sudden a very cheesy pop song started to play. Noctis looked up from his work and saw his dad dancing. Noctis blinked and asked in a very concerned, annoyed and worried tone. 

“Dad? Dad, what are you doing?” 

“Dancing my boy! I love this song!” Regis laughed, clapping along to the beat, moving his legs and twirling around knowing how much this was going to embarrass his beloved child. 

“Bahamut kill me now!” Noct begged, hitting his head against the table. 

“Join in Noctis! It’s fun!” Regis encouraged, still laughing and trying (yet failing) to moonwalk. 

“No! It’s not!” Noctis shouted, hoping there was a way he could get out of this mess. 

“Yes, it is!” Regis shouted back, still trying to moonwalk. 

Knock, knock.

Noctis stood up and called out to whoever was at his door. He prayed to every single one of those fuckers that it was someone who could actually help him. Or you know, just stop his dad from doing embarrassing shit like this!

“Yes, come in!” 

“It’s everything alright, your Highness?” Drautos asked as he opened the door. 

Noctis clapped his hands together and silently thanked whichever God had answered his prayer. “Drautos! No! Take him somewhere where he can’t fucking wind me up!” 

“Language Noctis Lucis Caelum.” Regis snorted, turning off the music. 

Drautos had no idea what was going on and he really didn’t care. But he found it a little bit amusing that the Prince was showing hatred towards his father. 

“Your Majesty, His Former Majesty, sent me to ask if you are free to speak with him.”

“Yes, Dad! Grandad needs you. Go with Drautos and give me back my phone!” 

Noctis just wanted this nightmare to end. Why was Regis acting like this?! It was not fair. Noct was starting to find his dad’s behaviour cruel because the man must know what he was doing. 

Regis chuckled, knowing he had succeeded and handed Noctis’s phone back to him. “Alright, here you are. Thank you Drautos.” 

Regis and Drautos left the Prince in peace and Noctis felt like he could finally breathe. 

He really hated it that his dad kept doing this to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now poor Prompto, Noctis, Gladiolus, and Iris have to suffer through this...


	4. (No) Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone! I hope everyone has safe journeys and enjoys whatever you do over this festive season!
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading :)

Regis shook his head as he laughed at Clarus’s story. “Pitiful Clarus. That was truly pitiful.” 

The King and Sheild used to be the Citadel’s best pranksters. They were so good at it when their parents were in charge that they managed to pull a prank on both Mors and Lapis, Clarus’s mother, and somehow were able to blame it all on Ardyn and Somnus and the pair did that when they were 10 and 15! They were the best in the business and no one could say otherwise. So, therefore, Regis found it shameful that Clarus couldn’t even think up a simple trick that would really piss his children off. Even if he did slightly annoy Gladiolus and Iris, he apologised for it afterwards. 

Tut, tut. 

Regis thought better of Clarus than that… He was ruining their pointlessly cruel game!

“I don’t want my children to be mad at me.” Clarus argued back. He could really do without having fights with Gladio and Iris. 

“Why, it’s really entertaining.” Regis laughed. 

“You are slowly turning into your ancestors with every passing day.” 

“It’s only a bit of fun. If you do it right they will be none the wiser.” 

“Umm… where is Ardyn anyway?” Clarus looked around the room, half expecting Ardyn to jump and give him a mini-heart attack. The Sheild thought that Ardyn would not miss this ‘little meeting’ that Regis had staged for them to talk about messing up their children’s lives. 

“No idea. Cor said something along the lines of Ardyn is unhappy about… something. He wouldn’t really tell me, other than Ardyn wasn’t coming in today.” Regis shrugged, retrieving a pen and paper from his desk. He sat the items on the wood and gave Clarus an evil smirk. “What is your next idea on how to embarrass your children then, my Sheild.” 

“I think I have an idea. But Gladio is going to hate me…”

* * *

Gladio unlocked the door to the manor and assumed that no one but Jared and the rest of the household staff were in. Perfect. He held onto his girlfriend’s hand and guided her through the door before quietly shutting it behind them. Once inside, Gladio caught Liviana’s lips with his own and moved her body to the wall. 

Liviana giggled at Gladio and whispered looking into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, my dad is picking my sister up so they won’t be back for at least another hour.” Gladio smiled, pushing her ginger hair behind her ear. 

“Gladio, isn’t this a little risky though.” 

“Just a little bit.” 

Gladio smirk before catching his lips with Liviana again. The younger shield took off his coat, slowly trying to edge them towards the staircase when they heard the front room door open. Gladio quickly pulled away from Liviana just in time as the sound of small feet came running towards them at top speed. 

“Hey, Gladdy!” Iris called as she jumped around the corner and smiled up at her brother.

“Iris! What the hell are you doing here?!” Gladio demanded, a little confused and flustered about what had happened in the last 5 seconds. 

Iris placed her hands on her hips and stared up at her brother. “Dad picked up me an hour ago. He’s in the front room. Hey, I am Iris, you must be Liviana!” Iris soon changed her demeanour from annoyance to joy when she spotted the ginger-haired woman that was standing near her brother. 

“Hello…” Liviana said a little awkwardly, not really sure how to react to the sudden news that both Lord Amicitia and Lady Iris were in the house. They were meant to be alone. 

Iris continued to smile. “Nice to meet you. And Gladdy, dad wants to see you.” 

Gladio let out a small groan. “I bet he does. Livvy stay here.” 

But before Gladio could start to walk towards the front room Clarus appeared from around the corner. The Sheild didn’t really like the fact that Regis had been a twat about this earlier so he made the decision to include his daughter in on this little game. Of course, Iris was more than happy to help in annoying and embarrassing her older brother. In Clarus’s opinion, Iris was going a fantastic job of it already. 

“Am I seriously not allowed to meet your girlfriend?” Clarus asked with his hands behind his back ready to be fully dedicated to the game this time around. 

“Dad.” Gladio said in a plain tone, praying he wasn’t going to be embarrassing. Gladio was already starting to heat up as Iris had nearly caught him making out with Livvy. 

“Hello Lord Amicitia. It is lovely to meet you.” Liviana smiled, extended a hand for Clarus to take. They had met before but not properly, Clarus was her boss after all. 

“Likewise my dear. Clarus is fine.” Clarus smiled warmly shaking her hand. “Gladiolus hasn’t mentioned you much I am afraid.” 

“Yeah. He wanted to keep you a secret, didn’t he dad?” Iris teased. 

“Guys. Shut up.” Gladio muttered, wanting the ground to swallow him whole. He really needed to get his own place now. 

Clarus laughed through is clear victory and patted Gladio on the back. “Don’t be embarrassed son. Why don’t you both stay for dinner and we can have a proper chat.” 

“I think that is a great idea. Please, won’t you stay!” Iris begged, deciding she liked being the only child allowed in on this game. Even if, in her opinion, it was a little mean. Oh well, Gladio was starting to get uncomfortable and she was willing to do what she could to wind up her older brother. 

This is not what was meant to happen today. The manor was meant to be empty. He and Livvy were not here to have dinner or for her to get to know his rather annoying and embarrassing family. They were meant to be enjoying the pleasure of each other’s company right now, and by the knowing look his dad was giving him, there was no doubt in Gladio’s mind that Clarus knew why he and Livvy were really here. Gladio was just so thankful that Iris was 10 and her innocence hadn’t been infected yet. That was something at least. But all Gladio could think about was poor Livvy. And what the poor guard must be thinking about. Like that her boss now knew that she was shagging his son. This was so fucking awkward. 

And in an attempt to get rid of the clear tension, Gladio turned to Livvy and asked, hoping she wouldn’t take the offer from his dad up for they could go somewhere else. 

“We can if you want.” 

Livvy put on a smile and nodded. She didn’t want to sound rude toward her employer and agreed to Clarus’s offer of dinner. “Dinner sounds great. Thank you.” 

“Great come with me.” Iris cheered, taking ahold of Livvy’s hand and pulling her towards the front room. “I’ve got lots of stuff to tell you about my brother.” 

“Is that so…” Livvy laughed, maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. 

Clarus smiled at Gladio as he glares evilly back at him. Clarus just stands there trying not to laugh as the pair of them wait for Iris to close the door so they can have a ‘chat.’ They both know that this chat is going to consist of Clarus trying not to laugh and Gladio trying not to die of embarrassment. When the door did finally shut Gladio was the first to speak. 

“Dad what the hell?!” Gladio gritted his teeth, trying his hardest not to shout at what Clarus had just done. 

“Can’t I meet my son’s girlfriend? Who knows you might actually decide you like this one and keep her around for longer than two months.”

“You better not say that in front of her. Or mention how many girlfriends I have had.” Gladio said, feeling the vain in his forehead being to pulse. Gladio loved his dad and his sister but when they worked together they were fucking awful to him. “And you better not show her any baby photos.” 

“Gladiolus. I am your father but I am not that cruel.” Clarus laughed, knowing full well that Regis and Ardyn were that mean. Gladio was lucky that Clarus was his father. Noctis and Prom weren’t so fortunate. 

“Really?” Gladio doubted that very much. 

This was going to be a long night. Gladio knew they just should have done it in the fucking car.

* * *

“Being grounded means I have to stay in the house.” 

Prom said as he walked through the shopping center with both of his dads. Prom actually felt really bad about making both his dads disappointed in him. They didn’t outright say it but he knew they were. Why did his teacher have to come and find him? All of this could have been averted if he had. 

“Not when we are all going shopping it doesn’t.” Ardyn sang as he looked at the list of things they needed to get. 

Prompto didn’t actually want to be here either. He would much prefer being at home and playing Kings Knight. That was the other thing. Cor had taken his phone off of him as well. Prom tapped Cor’s arm to get his attention and tried to complain to him about being here. “Dad…” 

“Don’t complain to me, mate. You should have been going to class. This is your fault.” Cor said bluntly. 

“You didn’t even go to school from the age of 12.” 

“Yes, but as I have said many times before Sunbeam. I taught your father, so yes he did have somewhat of an education.” Ardyn smiled, leading his husband and son towards the shop they needed to go in next.

“Yeah, and you’re a crap teacher.” Cor snorted. 

“Cheeky.” Ardyn smirk, causally hitting Cor’s backside. 

“Ass Hat.” Cor warned. 

“Dad don’t do that in public.” Prom blurted out, very shocked Cor let Ardyn get away with doing that. 

“You mean I can’t show affection towards my own family?!” Ardyn gasped pretending to be offended. Then an idea came into his head. Ardyn smirked at his son who was probably about to go into a whole list of reasons why he shouldn’t smack Cor’s arse in public, but Ardyn didn’t let him get that far. “So I can’t do this.” 

Ardyn quickly wrapped his arms around Prom and pulled him in for a massive hug. Because Prom was starting to morph into a teenager he knew this would surely cause his son discomfort. Ardyn was very right to make that assumption. 

“Dad! Stop I don’t want a hug!” Prom protested trying to break free from Ardyn’s embrace.

“But I love you. I love you so much my Sunbeam!” Ardyn giggled, holding Prom tighter and kissing him on the head to further embarrass him. 

“Seriously stop!” 

“Ardyn stop winding him up.” Cor ordered, seeing how uncomfortable Prom truly was. 

“Okay! Sorry!” Ardyn laughed, finally putting Prom down.

Prom’s heart was racing. He didn’t want Ardyn to hug him! He didn’t want Ardyn to know that under his jumpers Prom was getting slimmer. Prom had been avoiding hugging his dads for some time now for that reason. Prompto did not want to be hugged in public. It was embarrassing and for some reason, Ardyn had been nothing but that over the last few days. Prompto was sick of it. It was making him angry and anxious and because of that, he shouted at his dad. 

“You are so annoying I hate it when you do that!” 

“Prom...” Cor started to say, a little taken back by Prom’s outburst.

“Tell him to fucking stop it!” Prom shouted louder than before, getting looks from passers by, as he pointed aggressively at Ardyn. 

“Do not swear!” Ardyn barked also shocked by their son’s reaction. It was only a hug... 

“Than stop being _YOU_ for one day! Can you do that for me?!” 

“Prompto, do not be rude to me...” Ardyn said in a light tone, clearly very upset that his Prom had said that to him. 

Prom didn’t care right now that Ardyn was upset. He was so angry and embarrassed and he just wanted to go home. In his upset state Prompto carried on shouting. “Than stop it! I don’t want a hug in public! I don’t want you to be you in public! You are embarrassing enough without doing all of this!” 

“Right. You two stop it. Back to the car, now! Both of you!” Cor stepped in before he had to witness either his son or husband cry.

Cor had no idea what was going on or why Prompto had been acting out recently but he was not allowing this to carry on in public. Cor knew how sensitive both Ardyn and Prompto were about their identities and he could see how upset that fight had made both of them. For that reason when they got back to Ardyn’s car, Cor didn’t let Ardyn drive and got in the driver's seat himself. (Cor fucking hated driving this car) Cor decided it was better not to speak to Ardyn right now because his husband was more than likely about to burst into tears for the words Prom had said at him. However, it wouldn’t be fair if he didn’t address both of them as he started the engine of the car. 

“I don’t want either of you talking until we get home.” 

“But you have shopping…” Prom started but was cut off by Cor’s grumpy voice.

“Prom. What did I just say.” 

Cor didn’t need to say another word and all three of them were silent on the journey back. If Cor was honest, he was upset too. He hated it when any of them had a falling out and the Marshal was now determined to get to the bottom of Prom’s recent behaviour and Ardyn’s. Whatever was going on was not normal.

* * *

Noctis walked back to his room and heard an awful sound coming from within. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was Gladio being a prick… wait! Gladio was on his date tonight. Ignis had gone home and Prom was with Ardyn and Cor. 

But that only left one person…

His dad. 

Noctis let out a sigh and opened his door to find Regis sitting on his bed, wearing a pair of sunglasses, wearing a cap back to front and playing the trumpet. Poorly. Very poorly. “Umm… What are you doing?” 

“Playing the trumpet.” Regis beamed, going back to murdering the thing. 

“That is not how you play the trumpet.” Noctis shook his head wanting the ear-splitting noise to stop. 

“Yes, it is. I am King and whatever I say goes.” 

“Not sure that’s how ruling a kingdom works either.” 

Regis narrowed his eyes at his son through his sunglasses. This was meant to annoy Noctis to the point where his son wanted to throw him out. But Noct just seemed so calm and tired. Noct’s tiredness was no shock, but how calm he was acting… Umm… 

Regis placed the trumpet back to his lips and said loudly. “Can’t your old man do something cool for a change?” 

“Dad… playing the trumpet is not cool.” Noct laughed at how weird his dad was acting. 

“Yes, it is. I have sunglasses and a flat cap on. By the youth standards of today that makes me automatically cool.” 

“What did mum ever see in you?” Noctis joked taking a seat on his bed next to his dad.

Regis laughed and finally put the trumpet down on the fall as it was clearly doing nothing to offend Noct. “I love you too. If trumpets aren’t cool, I could attempt rapping for you.” 

“Please don’t!” Noctis said in a worried tone knowing full well Regis was not joking. 

“But it will be fun!” Regis shouted in delight thinking he had something to embarrass his son with but when his son put a hand on his forearm, Regis stopped and listened to hear what Noct had to say. 

“Dad, to me you are already cool. You don’t have to do any of this stuff to convince me otherwise.” 

“Do you really think that?” Regis asked, overjoyed to hear that come out of his son’s mouth. 

Noctis smiled at seeing how happy that had made Regis and nodded. “Yeah… you are the coolest parent I know. You even top Uncle Ardyn.”

“Awww, my baby boy loves me!” Regis squealed, ditching the sunglasses and then wrapped his arms around Noct and pulled him in for a huge hug. Regis thought he was about to cry with the loving words his son had just direct at him.

“I do. But if you crush my lungs I won’t anymore.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all 10 ways out of the way. 
> 
> Who wants to see, Noct's, Prom's and Gladio's revenge?


	5. A Lion's Pact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is time for the boys to get their revenge!!!!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who had read, left kudos and commented. It really means a lot!! Now, this fic is over and I am kind of sad. I loved writing this fic so much!!
> 
> Please sit back, relax and enjoy :)

“What’s going on?” Cor asked sitting on Prom’s bed next to his sunbeam of a child. 

“Nothing.” Prom shrugged worrying about Ardyn.

As soon as they got into the driveway, Ardyn got out of the car and walked away from them. Cor tried to get Ardyn to come back but he snapped at his husband and said he was going to see Somnus. Prompto was blaming himself for his dads having a domestic in the middle of the street because he knew he shouldn’t have said that to his dad. He didn’t mean it… Prom just didn’t want a hug… or Ardyn to notice. Notice what? He was fine. 

Cor let out a sigh. “Prompto, you have been acting out. You aren’t going to your lessons, you shouted at your dad, and now you are blocking me out. Son, I only want to help you. That is mine and your dad’s job to help you.” 

“Dad is just being so embarrassing! It just came out of nowhere and… and it’s annoying.” Prom exclaimed trying to explain his out of character actions. Prompto didn’t want Cor or Ardyn worrying about him. Again, worry about what? Prom was fine. Completely fine… fine. Yeah. Fine. 

“Look, I will talk to him about that I promise.” Cor assured Prom, the Marshal wasn’t actually too concerned with Ardyn being… well, Ardyn at the moment. 

Prom stood up shaking his head, determined to drive the conversation away from his wellbeing. “It’s not just me though! Noct and Gladio are complaining that Regis and Clarus are doing stupid stuff too.” 

“What?” Cor questioned, feeling dread in his stomach.

“They have been annoying them too. Especially Regis. He has been annoying Noct as long as dad has been winding me up.” 

“For fuck sake.” Cor held the bridge of his nose. Okay, maybe he should be worrying about whatever Ardyn was playing at. Also, he should try and find out what Ardyn, Regis and Clarus were up too. “Right, you let me deal with them, but I would really like to know what’s going on with you right now, mate.” 

“I already told you. It’s dad annoying me.” 

_ Did Prom just lie to me?  _

Cor gestured for Prompto to sit back down next to him and the Marshal’s concern grew more. Prom was a teenager and he was stupid if he thought that teenagers didn’t lie but… Prom didn’t lie or didn’t lie often. Prom only ever lied when he was worried about something. Cor didn’t want Prom worried. Cor and Ardyn did what they could to try and remove worry and stress from his life because of the rough beginnings Prom had handed to him. This wasn’t normal at all. Cor really hoped Prom would open up to him now. 

Once Prom sat back down Cor spoke again. “Prom, you were missing class before the start of this week. Come on, I am here to listen and help you.”

Prom looked down at the floor and rubbed his arm. He was fine. There was nothing wrong with him. No one should be worried. No one was meant to worry about him. Who would care about a dirty fat Niff anyway! No one! That’s how Prom saw himself anyway. But he didn’t want Cor knowing that. He didn’t want anyone knowing that. Prom knew that Cor wouldn’t push him to the point of explosion like Ardyn had done, so he lied again. 

In a stern voice, Prom replied. “Dad. It’s nothing. I just prefer to focus on my studies that’s all. Yeah, maybe I want to be apart of the guard or glaive but education is important too, right? That’s why I haven’t been turning up.” 

“Okay. I understand that however, you know P.E. is important.”

“I know. I already said I am sorry and I am going to go to them from now on.” 

“Right, I’m glad I don’t have to repeat myself. But is there anything else? Anything else happening at school? Are you worried about Cerbie? Are you worried about Somnus? Regis? Noctis? Your dad or me? Anything. Literally, mate anything. No matter how small you think it is, this is you that are we are talking about. You are the most important thing to me, so whatever is going on, it is important to me. Okay? ” Cor nodded, ruffling Prom’s hair. The Marshal could tell that hugging his son was probably not a good idea with how he reacted to Ardyn earlier. 

“Worried about uncle Somnus.” Prom said lightly, trying to get Cor away from the main issue. 

“He’s fine. You don’t have to worry about him. Dad is meant to be seeing him tomorrow why don’t you go with him.” 

“Not after what I said today.” Prompto replied. He really felt guilty about upsetting his dada. 

“Mate, he does know you didn’t mean it. He loves you as much as I love you.” 

“I know.” 

Cor still wasn’t convinced that this was the main problem. But he knew he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Prompto unless he made him cry and Cor really did not want to be the cause of his son’s tears. When Ardyn got back the pair could discuss it then and decide how to tackle their son’s behaviour. There was something else Cor knew he had to sort out. That was the issue of Ardyn, Regis and Clarus being pricks. Cor smiled and patted Prom on the shoulder and stood up before giving his son an order. 

“Anyway, call Noctis and tell him to get to the guard training barracks and I will call Gladio.” 

“Why?” Prom asked a little confused. 

“Because I have an idea why your dad and uncles are being major pricks.”

* * *

“You three are fucking evil.” Cor marched into the room with Ardyn close behind him looking like rather guilty. 

“Sorry. He forced it out of me.” Ardyn squealed as Regis and Clarus gave him hurt and annoyed looks of disappointment. 

“You suck Ardyn.” Regis pouted, crossing his arms like a five-year-old. 

“Hey!” 

Clarus huffed and rolled his eyes. “You weren’t meant to say anything. I think he should automatically lose.” 

“I made myself and Prom cry.” 

Ardyn’s guilt spike at his own words. When he got back from seeing Somnus, Cor took Ardyn to one side and told him that Prom was upset about everything that Ardyn had been doing over the past week. Cor didn’t actually use the word cry (because Prompto didn’t cry, the Marshal just decided to let Ardyn believe he had) but knew what a sensitive soul his son was and that led to Ardyn confessing everything he, Regis and Clarus had been doing. Cor wasn’t exactly happy with that confession and had forced all of them into this room to sort it out. 

Regis gasped at his uncle. “Okay, that is mean. You are losing because you made the sweetest child living cry.” 

“You’re pure evil.” Clarus said without hesitation completely agreeing with his King. 

“Yeah and so are you two. Embarrassing your kids all week, and for what?” Cor asked, with a voice a little sharper than normal. 

“Fun….” Regis shrugged his shoulders with caution. 

“See I told you, My Marshal, it was only fun.” 

“We’ll stop.” Clarus let out a deep sigh. He was starting to enjoy winding Gladio up. 

Both Regis and Ardyn whined a little. They wanted to finish this game off, but they knew Cor was right. Making the sunbeam cry was really overstepping the mark and how long would it be before either Noctis or Gladio got really upset and offended by this rather stupid and childish game… Maybe they should stop. As both King and should-have-been-King decided enough was enough Cor surprised them. 

“No. I know you won’t… but I thought I might join in.” 

“Come again, darling?” Ardyn asked not too sure he heard his husband right. 

“I’ll help you. As long as you don’t make our children cry, it should be fun.” 

“Okay!” Regis cheered, so happy that Cor was onboard with this. He really wanted to keep this up for as long as they could, especially since his last attempt to embarrass Noct backfired. 

However, Ardyn and Clarus were a little reluctant to trust Cor’s words. 

The Sheild scowled. “Really?”

“Prompto cried yesterday. I highly doubt you want to join in.” 

“You’re wrong Ass Hat. I do. And Prompto is okay. Don’t ruin the fun.” 

“Yes, uncle Ardyn don’t ruin the fun! Now, Cor you are good at strategy, what’s the plan Marshal Leonis?”

Cor smirked very happy that Regis was buying into his words. Clarus and Ardyn were a little harder to crack but once Cor gave them a very thought out embarrassment battle plan like the soldier he was they soon changed their minds and completely believed that he was on board with this game. And the Marshal’s plan was as followed:

Embarrass all three of them at the same time in front of the entire Citadel. 

The King, the Sheild, and His Grace just had no idea which three people Cor was referring too. 

* * *

The plan was simple enough. 

Today was the annual conference day that the guard and glaive shared. Both elite groups would take part in exercises to try and get along better. They had the yearly Guard and Glaive Games to also help strengthen the bond between the two groups, however, Cor and Drautos were far too competitive to even bother enforcing the notion that those Games were for competition only and not a full-scale war. This greatly annoyed Regis so this day was thought up to help remind everyone, including the Marshal and the Captain, that they were meant to be getting along and supporting each other. Always, always, to start the day off Regis would make a speech to make sure no one forgot what this day was about. And this is where Cor’s plan came in. Cor had suggested that they invite both Princes to come a watch the speech, and because Gladio was apart of the Guard he would already be there, and that would be Regis’s, Clarus’s and Ardyn’s time to strike. The plan was to call their children up on stage and the prank maybe a little classic but to drench them in water in front of the entire Guard and Glaive. Knowing Prom, Noctis and Gladio were well as all four men did, it would certainly embarrass them and after that, the game had to stop because the boys would be incredibly pissed off. Noctis would be pissed off because he was meant to be the one in charge of all these people when he became King and he would really have to try and earn their respect back. It would embarrass Gladio for the same reason and as for Prom he wanted to join either group, so what better way of properly introducing him than getting him soaked? The boys may not talk to their father’s for a while but it was worth it. 

The plan was all set to go. 

Regis, Clarus, and Ardyn were on stage as the hall piled up. Prom and Noctis were standing by Cor and all they had to do was wait until Regis had finished his encouragement speech before they acted upon it.

However, the unexpected happened. 

Somnus decided to make a public appearance for the first time in months and went to his rightful place on the stage. 

“Somnus!” 

Ardyn shouted with happiness at seeing his little brother. Ardyn wrapped Somnus up in his arms and didn’t care for a change that people saw him being happy to see his sibling. 

“Hello.” Somnus muttered, not hugging Ardyn back as his brother continued to crush him. 

“What are you doing here?” Ardyn asked letting him go. 

“I am meant to be here. What? Should I go?” 

“No, no, no. Just I didn’t expect to see you today is all.” 

“Well, Cor asked me if I would come.” 

“So you listen to Cor and not me?! After I begged you to get out of bed for the past couple of months!” Ardyn said a little offended that all his efforts had been wasted. Because as far as the immortal daemon knew that was the first time his husband had tried to convince Somnus to return to work. 

“Grow up please.” Somnus replied, letting out a breath of annoyance.

“Grandfather. I am so glad you are here today.” Regis smiled, interrupting the brother’s spat.

“Got to join the land of the living sooner or later.” 

“Good. Anyway, it looks like everyone is nearly here, so you two better take a seat. We’ll talk later.” 

Regis was so happy to see Somnus but he needed to get this speech out of the way before there were any quarrels between the guard or glaive and there was a high possibility there was going to be. They were all giving each other death glares. Regis looked at the doors, all of them were shut and both Cor and Drautos seemed contempt that everyone was accounted for. He better start than. Before he could, Somnus lightly took hold of his grandson’s arm to get his attention. 

“Would it be alright if I do the speech this year?” Somnus asked quietly, so only those on stage could hear him.

Regis raised an eyebrow and looked at both Clarus and Ardyn who had no idea where Somnus’s need to work had come from. But this was the first time in months that his grandfather had expressed an interest in anything that wasn’t sleeping and eating. For that reason alone, Regis nodded. “By all means.” 

For, they could still embarrass their children. 

“Thank you.” Somnus smiled politely, letting Regis take his seat before starting. “Good morning, everyone. I am terribly sorry that I have been away for some time, I had a personal matter I had to see to. In light of that, His Majesty has given me permission to do the speech this year. You all know what today is about and for that reason, everyone is aware you lot can’t get on with each other. The two groups that are designed to protect the crown get along with one another as well as His Grace and myself get along.” Somnus paused for a moment and turned to face Ardyn. “Maybe we should take part in this day too, brother?”

Ardyn just shook his head at his brother’s words.

Somnus nodded and turned back to the guard and glaive. “I thought as much. For that reason today, please don’t fight. Please don’t insult each other, please do not hurt each other. It’s pointless you are all here to protect Lucis and the royal family. Engage with each other in a safe and respectful environment. That is all I ask and as members of two very respectful groups, I really shouldn’t have to say any of this to any of you. But to put it bluntly, so you might take it on board this year, do not behave like His Grace and I, we are horrible people, you lot are not.”

Somnus’s blunt and to the point speech actually got the audience to laugh, as well as Regis, Clarus and Ardyn, allowing Somnus to look towards his younger grandson, nephew, brother-in-law and grandson’s shield. The Marshal gave him a smirk and Somnus nodded back. Thankfully the look the Former King and the Marshal shared went unnoticed by all but the children who were about to witness their revenge unfold. 

It was time to turn the tables on the people who thought they could get away with embarrassing there children. 

“Before I pass you back to His Majesty, I have a few things that I need to show to everyone. If you could please turn your attention to the screen behind me, you are all going to see something grand.” 

Somnus clicked a button on a controller that was in his pocket and a picture of a very, very drunk younger Lord Amicita came up on the screen. Clarus was basically passed out, his lower half was in a swimming pool and his upper half caked in flour. All the guards and glaives held their breath not sure if they were allowed to laugh or not. The Shield just stared at it completely gobsmacked that Somnus had even been able to get his hands on that photo. Wait a second! Cor was the one that had taken that photo… 

Fuck!

“That was on His Grace’s and Marshal Leonis’s wedding day I believe. Surprised that didn’t end up in the news, Lord Amicitia.” 

Gladio started to laugh at his dad’s discomfort and because he started the giggling started to spread across the hall. The giggling became infectious that Ardyn burst out laughing and he soon regretted doing that. 

“Don’t know why you’re laughing brother.” Somnus smirked, clicking the button again to reveal a picture of Ardyn with egg coating his hair, face, and shoulders. “And that the day was the day I got you back for hanging me. You look ridiculous there. And I have plenty more photos of you looking truly stupid at my disposal.” 

Prompto’s laughter got louder and he had to lean on Noctis for support at how stupid his dad looked. Once again, because no one was stopping them, the laughter got louder and more intense as Somnus left the image up there for everyone to see. Cor laughed when Ardyn looked at him with betrayal, because yet again, Cor was the one that had taken the photo. Ardyn was about to stand up and take whatever device Somnus had to get rid of what was on the screen but Regis did something he would regret until the day he died. He laughed at both of Clarus’s and Ardyn’s embarrassment. 

“Yes, don’t think I have left you out Reggie. Because this one is going to be so, so embarrassing. And Noctis hasn’t seen this photo yet.” 

Regis’s face dropped at his grandfather’s words and he gulped. He knew exactly what Somnus was referring too. Before Regis could phase to Somnus and prevent him from publically embarrassing him, Somnus clicked the button and a picture of a little Regis Lucis Caelum went on the screen of him wearing a fairy outfit. 

As soon as it came on screen the room erupted with laughter and even Drautos, who had managed to stop himself from laughing up until this point, joined in with the laughter at the humiliation the three were being forced to go through. But Prom’s, Noct’s and Gladio’s revenge was not done yet. Somnus quickly warped off the stage, as the three very embarrassed men’s children pulled a lever that caused the trap door above Regis, Clarus, and Ardyn to collapse, and gallons of freezing cold water soaked them all from head to toe. The laughter did not stop and Noct, Prom and Gladio just pointed and laughed at their fathers and encourages everyone else to do the same. 

Revenge was sweet. 

“One more thing before I go.” Somnus smirked going back on stage to get everyone’s attention. “Please feel free to take picture’s and circulate them around, it’s not treason I promise.”

* * *

“Have you learnt your lesson.” Cor laughed, rubbing Ardyn’s hair with a towel to dry his hair for him.

“Yes. Yes, I have.” Ardyn whimpered feeling completely humiliated. 

After that what had happened, Regis cancelled the whole day and went to bed, regretting everything he had done over the past week. Clarus went home with Gladio and did much the same. Neither of them were cross, just utterly ashamed and embarrassed. However, Noctis, Gladiolus and Iris ensured that their fathers were looked after and assured them they were never going to let them forget what had happened today.

“So, what are you going to say to Prom?” 

Ardyn looked at Prom and said sadly. “I am really sorry sunbeam. I shouldn’t have done any of that.”

“It’s okay dad!” Prom replied, and he hadn’t stopped laughing since this morning. “I completely forgive you.” 

“Good. Love you.” 

“Love you too. I better go and do my homework.” Prom than ran up the stairs and left Ardyn and Cor to talk. 

Once Cor was certain Prom was in his room he stopped rubbing Ardyn’s hair to get his attention. “Ardyn we need to talk about Prom.”

“I know, I already said I won’t ever do it again.” Ardyn replied. 

“No, I am not on about. Something isn’t right with him.” 

“Ummm… I know.” 


End file.
